Of all clothing and accessory items, footwear stands as the one sure barometer that reveals the weather. I layer tanks beneath sweaters all winter long. I secret "summer" tops under a coat, and dance in them at December parties. But it's impossible to layer shoes. And just plain stupid to wear sandals in the middle of a cold winter. Shoes tell the story. Boots? It's cold. Snow boots? It's snowy. Sandals? They're not on the feet until the frost is gone, and we're ready to expose our toes in delicious, warm weather.
This Siberian winter has me craving a crystal blue, Caribbean vacation. Instead I'm stay-cationing with the kids, and hoping that warm weather will be here by April. In my fantasy world I'm jetting to a beach with the family. I've packed my suitcase with gauzy dresses, a bathing suit, and freshly picked sandals - shown here. My fantasy beach vacation goes beyond amazing sandals...
- Beach sand has been genetically modified to resist settling in the crotch of said bathing suit. Furthermore, the sand will not ruin my cell phone when children sneak it out of the zip-lock bag to play Fruit Ninja™. The sand will, on the other hand, temporarily block the camera mode when children try to take pictures of me while I'm sleeping with my mouth open and getting a sunburn.
- Swimming with the dolphins costs $10 per child.
- Any roller coasters are either broken, or not up and running yet for the season.
- After experiencing nature for a few days, all children magically develop a love of vegetables and (non-exploding) fresh fruits. They're heard to say, "Mom, may I please have more broccoli?"
- Meals are healthy and organic. Gourmet chocolate ice cream is served after lunch and dinner. I lose weight during the vacation.
- The air temperature is 86 degrees. The water temperature is 80 degrees. The margaritas are frozen.
- Every morning I take long, vigorous walks on the beach. I watch those little birds peck around, and leave their dainty foot prints in the sand. Every now and then the waves push hard, reminding me that some things are out of my control. I find a perfect conch shell. I take that back. I find a beautiful, broken conch shell.